Musings of a confused Consultant

Last day at work !!

2006-06-29T19:42:00.000+05:30

Its been 22 Months here and to be honest I was looking forward to this day since 12 of those months !!

How do I feel ??

Well...... For starters I will be among the unemployed youth of India for the next two years :( So the thought is actually a little scary ....But I've heard of *great* things about FMS :) So looking fwd to that as well..

Will miss Deloitte very much...No.. not for its work, but for all the friends I am going to miss :(

And a *few* people in particular :-((

For all you work-aholics out there ......

2006-06-29T19:07:00.000+05:30

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups -porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and were eyeing each other's cups.

Now if life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change. Some times, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."

Don't let the cups drive you... Enjoy the coffee instead !!

Story Courtesy : Suchitra

Keep Walking..........

2006-04-07T15:36:00.000+05:30

The week before cat I weighed a whopping 115 Kgs …That was November '05
Fast forward now to April '06. I weigh 93 Kgs. Just about 7 kgs more than what is optimum for my height

How did I achieve this ??

Had I got a rupee for every time I answered this question during the last few weeks, I could have retired with my earnings right now

I aint no fitness guru and I don't want to sound like one…I hate VLCC and their ilk..dont ask me the reason but some how I find them yuck ...

What you are going to read below is a simple, practical technique to lose flab….I did it and lost around 21 kgs in 3 straight months….I need not mention that to achieve this you require "dedication" and "fire" from within.. Atleast I did not have to bother in this aspect (More on this some other day !! )

So ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever…… Kansultant's technique to shed weight…..and hey thank me ..i aint charging u guys a penny…..ok, I went overboard, anywayz read on ........

1. Walk for 3 hours on Saturdays. Does it sound scary..Chill dudes and dudettes….Start with an hour's walk…after two weeks make it a two hour walk…and then make it a 3 hour's walk…Push yourself…You will be amazed to see the limits of ur body
2. Walk for 3 hours on Sundays…Same blah blah.
3. Every morning spend 15 minutes doing some or the other form of exercise…Make sure ur tummy size is given its due attention during this time .
4. Avoid Rice at all costs..apart from the regular oil, cold drink, sweets, icecream blah blah !!

5. Drink water like u r a descendant of a camel. This wud mean frequent visits to the loo, but hey, that's a price worth paying aint it .

That's it..Its as simple as that !!

I followed the above 5 points and lost almost 2 dozen kilos in a period of 3 months.. Thats a fact !!

So go ahead buddy…Get your motivation…and your reeboks..and hit the road……

Its really worth the effort…TRUST ME !!

P.S. : Motivating myself to lose remaining 7 kilos is proving to be one helluva task

Destination FMS !!

2006-03-23T20:11:00.000+05:30

Yes, this is where I will be for the next two years of my life...

Kansultant is born again....Rejoice !!!

Kansultant meets Gopichand

2005-11-24T15:29:00.000+05:30

This afternoon at office...

Kansultant meets India's Badminton icon, Gopichand

Kansultant Redux

2005-11-21T15:57:00.000+05:30

CAT is done and dusted and now is the time to live up to the promise I made to myself…So here I go..

Today marks the 2^nd innings of Kansultant's musings.

I have so many things to write and I wonder where to start....

Okay lemme begin with the latest happenings in my life..This is the synopsis….Details will follow suit soon

CAT's done and dusted...I still believe I wont see the month of May'06 in this company….
Celebrated my parents' silver jubilee anniversary yesterday…It was one of the best days of my life…
Proposed to this cute li'l gal at office
Got one of my "blog friends" a job at Deloitte. She is joining Deloitte in the last week of November
"Successfully" and "finally" wrapped up all the work in my looooooong project and am "bench" since a couple of weeks now…
Lost the bet with my brother. I was convinced that Sri Lanka would thrash India 6-1
Lost the bet with my cab mate. I was convinced that Amelie had won the Oscars in 2001.
Won the bet with another cab mate. He was convinced Ganguly would come back to the team
Finished reading couple of Sidney sheldons. About to complete Gandhiji's Autobiography – "My Experiments with Truth"…Must confess.... It's a DRAG..Next in line is "How to win friends and Influence people". In the last few days I got an opportunity to do an honest appraisal of my life and I think this is what I require immediately.
Lost 10 Kgs..

Will post about each of these above happenings and many other things also in much more detail very soon…

P.S. : And for those interested, the gal I talked about in Pt No 3, asked me to "COOL IT"

Ganguly Vs Anniyan

2005-08-30T15:52:00.000+05:30

This is specially for people who have seen "Anniyan" Tamil Movie. Enjoy

For benefit of those who are not familiar with a famous dialogue from Tamil film Anniyan, the following conversation is based on that.

Ambi: Mr Ganguly, why r u shouting at the umpire, after u have been declared out ??? athu sattapadi thapu

Ganguly: Dey kudumi, naa yaar theriyuma…. bengal tiger……. appidithan katthuven.

Ambi: Kenya, Bangaldesh kooda century adikirele australia, pakistan na bathroom poralae y?

Ganguly: Naan "dada" da , thevayana apo mattum thaan aaduven.

Ambi: Mr Ganguly, captains like Ponting, Inzy, Smith ellarum century adichu team jeyika vaikara ,aana neengo aadave maatiringale?

Ganguly: Dey kudumi, athan Sachin, Dravid, Sehwag ellarum century adikiraanungale, apuram naan yethuku adikanum

Ambi: Alatchiyama pesathingo Mr ganguly, aduthava talentla fame gain pandrathu thapu!!

Ganguly: Poda kudumi, yenake advice pandriya #%@^#$%^@$%^$%^$%^

Anniyan: DEY ******(Bad words)

Ganguly: Yaarunga neenga gillespie maathiri hair style vachurikinga???

Anniyan : Naan avan ila da yema . Yenda run adika ve maatingara,

Ganguly: Batting form appo appo vanthutu pogum, cricketla ithellam sagajam thananga.....

Anniyan : Ippidi soli thapichidalaamnu paakiriya.....

Anniyan: 5 run edutha thapa?????????

Ganguly: Onnum thapu ilinga......

Anniyan: 5 matchla 5 run edutha thapa?????????

Ganguly: Thapu maari thanga theriyuthu..........

Anniyan: 5 varushama 5 5 matchla 5 run edutha thapa?????????/

Ganguly: Periya thapu thaanga...........

Anniyan: kamunati athathanda oruoru matchalayum nee panikitu iruka

Anniyan: Unakellam ballbojanam thanda. Nee than inime stump. Akthar,sami,lee,mcgrath ellarum una vachuthan bowling practice panaporaanga!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Picture speaks a thousand words...

2005-08-09T11:33:00.000+05:30

Yankee Ramayana !!

2005-07-28T13:06:00.000+05:30

Couldnt Resist posting this :)

A young second generation Indian in the US was asked by his grandmother to explain the significance of "Diwali" to his younger brother, this is how he went about it...

".......So,like this dude had,like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or something... Since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years or so.. he decided to get his wife and his bro along... you know...so that they could all chill out together.

But DUDE, the forest was reeeeal scary shit... really man...they had monkeys and devils and shit like that. But this dude, Ram, kicked ass with darts and bows and arrows... so it was fine. But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, was our man, and also his bro, Laxman, pissed... And you DON't piss this son-of-a-gun cuz, he just kicks ass and like...,all the gods were with him.. So anyways,you don't mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro get an army of monkeys.. Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys... just go along with me, ok... so, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta's ass in his own hood. Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest..and anyways...it gets kinda boring,you know... no TV or malls or shit like that.

So,they decided to hitch a ride back home... and when the people realize that our dude, his bro and the wife are back home... they thought, well, you know, at least they deserve something nice... and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days...so they couldn't take them out for a drink,so they, like, decided to smoke and shit... and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps also... so it was pretty cooool...you know with all those fireworks.. Really, they even had some local band play along with the fireworks..and you know, what, dude, that was the very first, no kidding.., that was the very first music-synchronized fireworks..you know,like the 4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff, you know.

And,so dude, THAT was how, like, this festival started

His GrandMother fainted.

Its a New Season...........

2005-07-28T12:24:00.000+05:30

After a long break from blogging, today starts the new season of kansultant's blogging.

Its a new season for many things i guess, its raining cats and dogs in Hyderabad this year. The MBA admission season has started and what more within a couple of days the Indian cricket season is gonna begin. Hurray !!

Currently listening to "Seasons in the sun" by Westlife

Next Time you waste your food, remember this

2005-06-15T22:07:00.000+05:30

Egos at workplace

2005-06-13T17:19:00.000+05:30

It's been almost 10 months working here and believe me, in this time, I have learnt more inter-personal skills than any classroom or training sessions could ever teach. I have dealt with the some of the most hardworking ,creative , cheerful and also as I found out last week, some of the most egoistic people you can ever find. More on that later though.

Last week, I had the first Performance appraisal of my career and was pleasantly surprised to get a very decent rating (For those of you who wonder what this is all about, appraisals are done in all companies once or twice a year. Based on the work you do, your boss lists out your strengths, weaknesses, areas of developments and rates you based on your contribution to the Project.)

While basking in the glory of my appraisal rating, I also got the shock of my life. My boss called me aside and told me that he had received some damning feedback against me. I was like what the F#$# could that be??

Guys and gals, hold your breath!! What's ahead may or may not much sense to you (at least it did not make to me!!).

It was then that he revealed that one of my fellow team members had complained against me about the way I work. According to the complainant, "I bully all others, do not listen to them, always try to dictate terms, never involves them in discussions, keep bossing around blah blah…………"

When I heard my boss telling me all this, words did not come in my mouth. Not that I was terrified or something. But just could not control my laughter. Coming back to senses quickly, I tried to understand who this complainant was!! Once his / her name was revealed, I understood the whole funda, and then explained the actual truth to my boss. I guess it was an eye-opener for him as well

I don't want to wash dirty linen in public, but getting angry at me just because I take the initiative to "get the job done" and in the process ask team members to stay on for 15 more minutes in office to complete the job, this behavior is crazyand childish. Anyways if someone has any problem with me, they should come and tell me and not my boss.

My Current mood: Oh my gawd! When will they ever learn!!

Hyderabad Defined :)

2005-06-12T21:57:00.000+05:30

What else can one say. This sums it all :))

It's Official now !!

2005-06-05T23:34:00.000+05:30

Yes, I am now a certified Tam- Brahm.

My upanayanam ceremony was held last week and I along with my bro became the latest members of this club. Dozens of relatives had come over and I had a whale of a time.

Will write more about the event from office. By the way, if anyone is interested is looking at those photos, here it is

Tada !!

Desi gyaan for videshis

2005-05-23T22:06:00.000+05:30

Had less work today, so was just browsing through some company's internal sites, where I stumbled upon this.

The following are the advices given to the foreign employees before they come to India. Twas quite amusing to read them. Some of the gems are below :)

Behaviour at Office

•Supervisors generally prefer that workers come to them for assistance with tasks rather than completing tasks on their own. Indians are very team-oriented and will often work on tasks as a group, not individually, unless they are given explicit instructions.

•Indians may not acknowledge small favors and may not use words like “sorry,” “excuse me,” or “thank you.” This is not a sign of rudeness – quite the opposite … Indians simply may not be accustomed to the use of these polite phrases in the English language. It also indicates that they feel comfortable being “informal” with you, since Indians reserve such acknowledgements for formal situations and for people who are not friends or colleagues.

•Supervisors and workers generally do not socialize outside of the office unless they have known each other for a long time. There are very few project team parties.

•Office privacy, size and location are symbols of status.

•It is advisable to be punctual to appointments. Indian executives prefer late morning or early afternoon appointments.

• Business lunches are preferred to dinners

• Hospitality, such as tea and small talk is a part of conducting business.

•Offices are reserved for management. The person of highest authority or rank has the largest office. Employees generally work in open spaces. Cubicles are limited to a few.

•It is common for employees to decorate their work space with personal items (plants, photos, artwork, etc.).Indians tend to have less expectation than US natives for personal space in public situations where crowds or groups of people are present. On streets or transportation or in similar environments, some jostling or similar contact should be expected

Language Usage

•Never, ever shout to be understood. Speak humbly and remove hyperboles such as “great,” “fine” and “terrific.”

•Avoid word pictures unless they are literally what you mean (e.g., “run that by me again,” “walk me through this,” etc.).

•Do not use “Baseball English” (e.g., “ballpark figure,” touch base,” “pinch-hit,” “home run,” “off the wall,” etc.).

•Avoid negative/positive questions (e.g., “You aren’t coming are you?” might be answered “Yes (I am not coming),” where you might expect a “No.”).

Other 'gyaan'

•Public displays of affection are not acceptable within any of India’s ethnic groups. You should avoid hand holding, hugging, kissing, or any other physical contact other than a handshake while you are in public. However, you may notice a man with his hands around his male friend’s shoulder. This does not indicate sexual preference.

•Never touch an Indian (even Indian children) on the head. The head is considered the holiest part of the body

Vaccinations

The following are immunization recommendations when traveling to India:

• Hepatitis A – Recommended for all travelers

• Hepatitis B – Recommended for all travelers

• Japanese Encephalitis – May be recommended if spending more than 30 days in rural areas

• Rabies – Recommended for expatriates and long term visitors. This is also recommended if

quality medical care may not be available within 24 hours of being bitten or scratched by an animal.

• Typhoid – Recommended for expatriates and long-term visits. Recommended for most travelers.

• Yellow Fever – May be required if coming from an infected or endemic country.

• Polio – Recommended for all travelers

• Updates recommended for all travelers for Tetanus, diphtheria, measles and varicella (chickenpox).

Have you ever realized that we, Indians are actually immune to all these diseases now

States I have visited in India

2005-05-23T16:58:00.000+05:30

Encounter with "firangees"

2005-05-03T15:56:00.000+05:30

Working in MNCs like mine, one unique thing a person can experience is the sheer number of foreigners working along side you. I for one never knew that these many foreigners actually existed in Hyderabad, leave alone a single company I was initially overwhelmed, when I actually spoke to one of them for the first time. However, once you get over the initial jitters, you would realize that they are normal people just like you and me, and the “aura” around the firangees disappeares soon.

Yeah ,we enjoy the way they speak and try to imitate their accents within our peer group. The look of confusion and amazement in their eyes when they see an old person(Amitabh, actually) running around trees , Sharukh dancing in front of an American flag (Kal ho na Ho), Oye bubbly ads etc on the TV sets at the cafeteria makes one go ROFL

Most of them are actually a nice bunch of people. They always smile and wish you while traveling in the lift. If you are walking behind them and you approach a door, they actually open it for you and ask you to go through it first In fact, one of the ladies came to office yesterday wearing a sari

To top it all, this

Granma is Back !!

2005-04-18T20:05:00.000+05:30

Grand mom had come home last week and she will would be staying here till june for a function at home (will write about this function later). With her arrival, the daily gyaan session has started again.

My typical day, now consists of knowing that how keerai (Spinach) is good for the eyes and why chewing gums are harmful for the body and why I should try to get a government job as soon as possible. Compared to her, mom now seems to be angel :-D

YSR Sucks !!

2005-04-18T19:00:00.000+05:30

My office building also houses Google. They started their operations recently and had invited the AP CM Y.S.Rajasekhara Reddy to do the inauguration. Just a couple of days back he inaugurated the office for INFOTECH, another company in Hitec-City. About a couple of months ago, he had inaugurated Microsoft’s new building. Why I am writing all this is because this is the same man who used to make fun and criticize the then CM, Chandra Babu Naidu, when he was trying his best to ask all these companies to set up bases in Hyderabad.I don’t know with what face he goes to these inauguration ceremonies when he used to oppose the very reason of existence of IT companies in Hyderabad till a few years ago.

Heard a couple of days ago that YSR is going to renew Hyderabad’s bid to Formula-One races. I mean what sort of a person is he??. I remember a couple of years ago, when Formula One Boss Bernie EccleStone met ChandraBabu and almost finalized Hyderabad as the venue for F1 races. YSR raised huge outcry at that time. I remember watching the Live Proceedings of the State Assembly on TV one day when they were discussing the same topic.
The then CM ChandraBabu was reeling out statistics as to how Formula 1 would help the city and the state. To this barrage of stats, YSR replied and boy did he speak like a prospective CM?

I remember this very clearly and I translate this from telugu. “Arey CMji, You have removed the Prohibition Law as soon as you came to power, now liquor flows like river in this state. Now you want to get racing to this state. If anyone wants to watch racing they can surely satisfy themselves watching the Horse-Racing at the Malakpet Horse Course. So we do not require Formula One”. Bull Shit!!

Equating Formula 1 racing to Malakpet racing shows the intellectual vacuum of this person. Now he talks of renewing the F1 bid. Does he think Formula One people are fools and would be waiting for him.

Don’t know where this guy was, when god was distributing Common Sense!!

What's my work ?? Read on !!

2005-04-07T18:37:00.000+05:30

Many people have asked as to what my work “actually” involves. So for the benefit for all those eager souls and also for the people who want to work in the IT industry or those who don’t want to work here but want to know more, read on.

Usually, if someone is working in an IT company, they would be working in one of the following fields.

Mainframes
Open Systems
Enterprise Applications <-- I am here

Mainframes: AFAIK, Mainframes are huge machines which can store and process large amounts of data very safely and quickly. These are machines built mainly by IBM and are a bit “antiquated” if I can call it so. But many institutions like banks use mainframes to get their daily jobs done. Once a person learns how to work with the machine (in other words, coding) this job becomes a dull routine. Training for this course costs a lot if one wants to learn outside and therefore people who have the requisite knowledge are paid decently.

Open Systems: Heard of Java, C++, .NET?? Well, all these things come under this category. These are highly specialized languages as in these things require a fair amount of logical thinking and practice to get the optimum level of comfort in work. Most companies in India which come for Campus Interviews, recruit students and train them in one of these technologies. The work here is more interesting and people have decent opportunity to go abroad after gaining some experience.

Enterprise Applications(EA): Home territory, baby :-) The main purpose why companies use EA in their factories and offices is that because EA actually increases the efficiency and the quality of decision making in their organization. EA integrates the functioning of all the departments/shopfloors of a company and the CEO, with a click a button in his office can get all and any data in any format about any previous or prospective future company sales/purchase orders and take decisions with real time data. Hope u understand that ;-) There are three major Enterprise application in market today. They are:

SAP
PeopleSoft / JDE <-- I am here
Oracle

All the three above are three different companies producing softwares with the same names.

SAP is the big brother among the three. I work in the PeopleSoft EA.

When companies decide that they require EA to be installed in their organizations, they contact the consulting companies like mine. Then the guys in my company who have the required experience and knowledge go to the client office and finds out how exactly EA will help them and what are the modules they require to use. (EA softwares are very very big and companies use only a few relevant modules).

Once that is done, he gives instructions to the guys offshore (people like me:-) ). This instructions will include the technical specifications of the work to be done. In simpler words, what we actually do is to customize the existing software (JDE in my case) to suit our client needs.

People like me(who do the actual work) are called “Technical Consultants”. And the people who have the industry/domain expertise to advice the clients on their requirements(These are usually MBAs or technical guys with 4-5 years experience) are called “Functional Consultants”

Again, training in EA is very costly and very few people can learn it outside. Only few lucky ones out of all the people recruited by the companies through the campus recruitment get allotted to this field. These people are the lucky ones ;-) Why? Because they are the best paid in the industry. That’s not all. Working in EA gives person great insights about actual workings of big companies and that experience is very unique and useful for the future.

Chalo, that’s all for now. Hopefully I have shed some cobwebs after not posting for a month. If this post was in any helpful to you or you have anything to correct or add to my post do drop in a comment.I wud appreciate that very much :-)

I knew this wud happen

2005-04-06T19:42:00.000+05:30

Talk about identifying talent.

Most people wud have heard of this Dhoni guy only recently, but i knew about his talent long back. December 2004, in fact. This is what i had written then

Now i realize why my colleagues think i wud be a gud HR guy

Kansultant born again !!

2005-04-06T19:39:00.000+05:30

I have not blogged for over a month now. Iam having a kinda guilty feeling, don’t know why :-( I was just browsing through all my posts so far, and believe me I cant believe that it was me who had written all that stuff. If someone asks me to reproduce all the stuff again, I will not be able to do that. I guess this is natural. Well, I hope that with this post, I kickstart my blogging again.

Oh My Gawd !!

2005-03-31T11:49:00.000+05:30

Just one post in the last month.

Not acceptable!! Will have to improve 4 sure

Apun BBC me aa gaya

2005-03-02T22:23:00.000+05:30

Yes u read it right.

BBC has selected my article to represent India on its website.

See moi name, moi foto and moi article here http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/4291377.stm

Iam ecstatic, will write more on this from office tomorrow

jeetege bhai jeetega ..........

2005-02-21T15:59:00.000+05:30

It’s the time of the year where every god damn former cricketer becomes an “expert” and has his own version of analysis of the forthcoming cricket series. Well, yours truly is no less. The only difference is that my predictions are usually right. So this is my take on the India – Pakistan series.

Test Series : India wins 3-0.

One Day series : India draws 3-3 with Pakistan.

My team for the first test match:

V.Sehwag

G.Gambhir

R.Dravid

S.Tendulkar

S.Ganguly

VVS Laxman/ Md Kaif

D.Kaarthik

H.Singh

A.Kumble

I.Pathan

Z.Khan

Wah Cricket !! Woh bhi kya din the !!

2005-02-18T16:50:00.000+05:30

While googling across cyber space, i came across an article written more than 6 years ago. I recommend that article to every cricket fan.

The situation : India loses very badly to Australia in Australia
The Mood in India : Anger

Click here to read that article.

It will make you nostalgic, I bet

Believe me ! I read all of these !!

2005-02-18T16:39:00.000+05:30

I have been in a book reading spree for the past 2 months. I have always wanted to read novels and autobiographies like many other people do, but never had the patience to do it. But now everything has changed.

Following is the list of books I have finished reading.

My Reviews

Green font : MUST READ
Blue font : GOOD
RED font : AVOID AT ALL COSTS

Wings of Fire by Abdul Kalam

Count your chickens before they hatch by Arindam Chaudhary

The Great Indian Dream by Malay Chaudhary

My Autobiography by Lee Iacocca

Talking Straight by Lee Iacocca

Straight from the gut by Jack Welch

Engaging India by Strobe Talbott

The Monk who sold his Ferarri by Robin Sharma

The Anthem by Ayn Rand

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Future plans

Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

Sultans and Sultana make Hyderabadis proud :-))

2005-02-15T19:49:00.000+05:30

I just cudnt miss this one.

I had predicted in my earlier post that "Hyderabad Sultans" will cut all the other teams to size in the PHL and i was proved right :-)) The defence of the sultans was just amazing and the jalandhar team looked like babies in front of them. Well done. I must also appreciate the scintillating work of the 3 pakistani imports, Waseem Ahmed( Should have won the best player award in the PHL), Sohail Abbas (The Hockey God himself) and Ahmed Alam(My god! World's best goalkeeper). Also great was our Indian captain Dilip tirkey.

Talking about the opposition, they behaved very poorly and we could see that they in fact could not accept that hyderabad smashed them not once but twice in the league. The performance of the forwards of jallandhar(the same as that of the Indian team) was aweful to say the least and now we know why Indian hockey team keeps losing always. The behavior of Gagan Ajit Singh was deplorable to say the least.

If Saturday we got revadi, on Sunday we got gulab Jamun

Sania Mirza did what no Indian has done b4 and has broken into top 100 of the World's rankings. Great going. It has to be emphasised that she was injured very badly throughout the tournament and it took great resilence to win and boy!! did the Hyderabad crowd help her :-))

The opposition players who were used to playing in front of dead silent crowds could not realize what hit them when they continously kept shouting even during serves and rallies :-))

As someone said, "what else do you expect when the entrance is free and girls are playing in mini-skirts"

Great week for Hyderabad, Indeed !!!!

Iam working @ Dell errrr..... Deloitte

2005-02-15T19:38:00.000+05:30

The only problem in working at Deloitte is that it is not yet a household brand in India like say Satyam or Infy or Wipro. So when I proudly say to my relatives and friends that I work for Deloitte Consulting , they think that it one of the dozens of job-consultancy companies sprouting all over Hyderabad

Worse still, other people do not comprehend the word “Deloitte” and tend to believe that iam some call center guy working in DELL

Now what worse abuse can there be for an ERP consultant

My dear cell phone

2005-02-10T15:43:00.000+05:30

I have decided that my cell phone requires a separate post. It is one of the most amazing pieces of cell phone you would ever see and after seeing it and touching it, almost all the people have the same reaction “WOW”. No I do not have any new Samsung or LG models. Neither do I have the Motorola E380. What I have is old and heavy. It is the one and only Siemens A-40.

Ya I know, doesn’t look "interesting" or "trendy",isn’t it. My colleagues here regularly keep making fun of me when i use it. In fact when one of them asked me to donate my phone to Tsunami victims, one another guy mocked me saying even they will not use my cell phone :-((

To hell with them and their views. In fact the more and more I use my cell phone, the more I continue to love it. It has no ringtones, has no games to play, has capacity only for 15 messages and has to be recharged daily. So what?? I have developed some sort of emotional attachment with it and so I will continue to use it no matter what others say.

In fact iam looking forward to the next few years when my cell phone will become a antique piece and same people who make fun of it now will see it in majestic awe :-))

Gustaaki Maaf !!

2005-02-10T15:08:00.000+05:30

Me li'l busy with work. So I will just Ctrl-C,Ctrl-V my post at pagalguy.
This post is about a parody in NDTV news channel which keeps popping up in between the news bulletins.

I absolutely luv "Gustaaki Maaf" but i feel some characters are overdone and are too loud like Mayavati etc

My fav :

1. Vajpayee's Shayari session
2. Manmohan Singh with sonia peeking from the back
3. Laloo Yadav and his usual crap
4. Filter coffee with Amma

In fact last week's episode featuring "amma" was awesome. Lemme try to sample.

Inzamam ul haq has a coffee meeting with "amma"

Amma: Why r u looking so sad ??
Inzy : What to do madam, iam getting no repect in my team, and this Shoaib Akhtar is there na, he thinks he is the boss and he does not listen to me.
Amma: Dont worry Inzy , I will give u tips to gain respect in team.
Inzy: Ah Really!! Thanks madam, lemme note down ur tips
Amma: Point no 1 : Ask everyone in your team to call you "AMMA".
Inzy: But why madam??
Amma: Arey stop this madam, shadam. Call me "AMMA". "AMMA".
Inzy: Ok madam.... err Amma
Amma: POint no2 : Ask everyone in your team to touch your feet. This will give you respect.
Inzy: Arey madam, how is this possible? How can i make others touch my feet when I myself cant touch my feet. That means I do not self-respect Boo-ooh(starts crying)

And it goes on !!

The expressions of AMMA and Inzy are hard to put in words.

All that adds that to some comic relief in between the daily dose of same old stale news

My train journey

2005-02-03T21:02:00.000+05:30

I am posting this after a long break from blogging. In fact, I am quite energized by this break. No, I had not been to any vacation or something like that. In fact, Believe it or not, I was busy with office work.

Last weekend I had been to my home town, yes the one and only, madras. Going to madras is always a wonderful feeling. Even though I have never stayed there for any period of time, the emotional attachment to that city is just unbeatable. The main purpose of this visit was to write another MBA entrance exam. God!! Dunno when will I be relieved of this.

This post contains all my little observations of my 2 days trip to madras. Most of them are silly but the person that iam, I love to treasure such moments. So here we go,

One obvious thrill when I reached the nampally station was to so many tamil people in the station. Never knew so many of them stay in Hyderabad. (On doing further research I found out that over 10 lakh tamil ppl reside in AP.)

Train started moving and the first thing I noticed was the european styled stations of lakdi ka pul and necklace road. The fact that not a single soul was thereon any of those platforms is a different story altogether :-))

View of Tank Bund from the train was exhilarating and anybody visiting Hyderabad for the first time will simply feel in awe of the beauty of the city.

After secunderabad, it was all jungle and there was not much to see outside except my brother’s college near ghatkesar.

So my attention turned inwards and when I looked around to see the other passengers in my compartment, I noticed one strange thing. About 60% of people in my compartment where women and most of them were going to Chennai to attend some marriage(Later, I found out that the next few days were quite auspicious days for marriage and in fact the streets of madras were filled with the sound of nadaswarams during the course of my stay there).
This says a lot of about the feel of security in the southern states of Andhra Pradesh and Tamil nadu. I just cant imagine such a thing happening in the cow belts of India or for that matter the northern part of India. Way to go, South!!

Train was approaching Chennai Central station and this we can know from the stink associated with the approaching places. Then suddenly arrived the good ol’ BASIN BRIDGE station. It’s stink is unbearable but who carez. This station is just about 200 mts from the central station and when the train passes this station we know WE ARE THERE. This station is really nostalgic and I still remember asking my grand father long long back (about 13 years back I think!!) that why did they construct two stations so close together?? Ah those were some days (More on those days later)

I touched down on Central station and ah HEAVEN. My home. Iam welcomed by the Tamil advertisements running on Suryan FM. It was about 5.30 in the morning and I thought I would have to work hard to find a auto driver awake. Hell I was wrong. I should have known. Madras wakes up at 4 am. As soon as I got out of station I was mobbed by dozens of auto drivers each offering me a better bargain than the other one. I picked one of them and drove straight to my Uncle’s home at mambalam.

Once at Chennai, the same old meter less autos, “maanagar perundu” buses, posters of “AMMA” and “KALAIGNIAR” etc certify that you are indeed in madras. The T.Nagar road reminds me of all those tv ads ranging from Pothys, Chennai Silks, Jayachandran textiles to GRT thanga maaligai. And who can forget that Hotel Saravana Bhavan. Ah all this just drives me nostalgic.

After the exam at anna nagar, I came back to the central station to catch a train back to hyd . Since I had 2 hours for my train to depart, I somehow had to kill time in Central station. Talking about the central station, man, you gotta be there to experience that. The big structure that it is adds to the charm of the first time(or for that matter any) visitor. The fact that you can see the engines “front on” is a delightful experience. Add to that the DSL internet center, in-house saravana bhavan, anand bhavan and higginbothams and you know that this is the best railway station in this country.

The only problem with this sort of setup is that you have to walk a long distance to reach your bogie, if god forbid, ur compartment is near the engine. And guess what, my coach was S13. The first coach ,bang behind the engine. So I had to walk through all that way in the scorching sun.

One amazing part of traveling alone in Indian Railways is the type of company you get. Some are quite serious and keep reading a damn book throughout their journey, there are some who retire to the upper birth and spend the whole journey sleeping. Luckily my “neighbours” were not like that.

I met this old man, a Punjabi, who he claims, came to tamil nadu with an empty pocket 20 years ago and then went on to become a big business man in coimbatore. Now he has settled down in jallandhar and travels to madras and Hyderabad often to meet his old friends. I had some interesting conversation with him and I will be posting it in my next post. Next morning I came back to Hyderabad and felt like I was back home again (Surprising isn’t it ).

Stars and Sparrows

2005-01-24T16:35:00.000+05:30

Yes. just as I type this piece, only my fingers know what they are doing. I am seeing stars and sparrows right now and it is just 4:40 PM. I thought of having a quick nap in the office but my friend spoit my plans by forwarding this article.

Well, what happenned to me was that I slept only at 5.30 AM this morning. I had to then get up at 8AM to get back to office.

The reason being, I was reading a book called "Engaging India" by Strobe Talbott.

It was an amazing book and the most interesting part of the book is when he describes the situation when Nawaz Sharif begs Clinton to save his A$$ from the Indian army during the Kargil war.

I could have read the book slowly and over a period of many days but a guy called Vamsee here in office challenged me to finish the book in one straight night.

Hey Vamsee, I did it !! :-))

P.S. More about this vamsee guy in the next post....special attraction being his photo ....Dont miss it :-))

SOX, Here I come !!

2005-01-23T21:51:00.000+05:30

Heard of Sarbanes Oxley 404 ???

Me neither!!

Well, Iam being trained on this.

Dont know being an electronic engineer and after being trained in PeopleSoft, what value i can add in this field.

Iam slowly becoming a Jack of all, but master of none :-((

P.S. : Sarbanes oxley is a law enacted in US after the corporate scandals of ENRON, WorldCom etc. According to a section in this law, any "gol-maal" in the financial reporting of the company's balance sheet, will result in its CEO being arrested.

I wonder whether such a law will ever work in India :-))

Yeh Mera India

2005-01-20T19:10:00.000+05:30

Not many times it is, that you read an article and wonder about the intellectual capacity of some person.

I happened to read a blog of one, Prof.Madhukar Shukla, Prof at XLRI-Jamshedpur.

And believe me it just blew me away. Just wondering if i wud have the fortune to do an MBA under him :-))

Click here for the article (It's a lil' long, but believe me, it's worth your time !!)

Samachar Update !!

2005-01-16T20:46:00.000+05:30

1. Well, all my exams for my MBA aspirations are over . Now begins the excruciating wait for the results. Iam tense :-(

2. Iam put into the semi-GraveYard shift in the office :-( My office timings have changed from 2Pm to 11PM . Atleast, Iam better. There r couple of guys who are doing the "Full Time Graveyard Shifts" ( from 6 Pm to 3 AM). Well, who carez as long as Iam getting paid for it :-)

3. After Karthik told me his sad and tragic tales about his training experiences in Satyam Computers, Iam thanking my lucky stars for not getting selected there :-)
It sounds like the good ol' school days there ; Sample this: no cell phones in office, Everyday shaving, black shoes, light shade shirts and dark trousers with tie every tuesday.
Probably the only saving grace for the employees is that their Nails are not checked everyday :-))

How Ridiculous !!

4. My brother has finished his German course and he is adamant that he will speak only in German with me, even though i dont know a single word of that language :-(((

I have a plan to counter him. I will finish my French course in a month's time and soon take my REVENGE on my lil' Bro !! :-))

Next update from " THE GRAVEYARD" :-)

Currently listening to : Bulla ki Jana by Rabbi Shergill ---Really great song, but I dont understand a single word in that song. But I guess, Who carez !! :-))

Bulla ki Jaana Mein kaun ...........

P.S. : Was i the only one who was offended after hearing to this song for the first time :-))

Mogambo is no more

2005-01-12T13:18:00.000+05:30

Amrish "Mogambo" Puri is no more :-(

Driving in Hyderabad ! Read this !!

2005-01-12T13:02:00.000+05:30

Inspiration for this post came from two places. One was a needless accident of a DC cab with a motorcycle (Thankfully no one died !! ). Second was a post on a similar topic by prad of FMS.

People who have been in Hyderabad know about what I am going to write. For others who are about to come to Hyderabad in the near future, this would be a good refresher course.

So Lets begin with the precautions u need to take b4 u step onto your bike or car.

1.Make sure you have a really good helmet or seat belt. This could finally make all the difference.
2.Always carry your identity card in your pocket. Make sure it contains your office/ home phone number and your residential address.
3.A small prayer wouldn’t harm :-)

Once you are ready, step onto your vehicle.

The next question is, Right side or Left side of the Road??

The answer is “Both”.Let me explain.

You basically start from the left, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed.

My Tip: Don't drive, but just aim your vehicles in the generally intended direction and trust your instincts. Usually that is sufficient :-)

Stopping at Pedestrian Crossings: Do it at your risk. My advice will be, don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back :-))

Pedestrians in Hyderabad have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town.

Blowing horn: In most places blowing the vehicle’s horn is considered as a sign of protest, but not in Hyderabad. In fact, blowing horn in Hyderabad is considered a way of expressing your joy and happiness. So the more happy you are, the more you should be blowing your horn :-))

Indian James Bond: This title is unanimously awarded to the RTC Bus drivers of Hyderabad. Yes, they really have “a license to kill”. Always maintain a distance of 1 car between the bus ahead. Don’t assume that the buses would stop only on the left side of the road. The road is theirs; they will stop any where they like. So be prepared.

Most bus passengers are given free passes and during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem. There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity. Always, steer clear of these buses by a width of three passengers.

Competing with Buses: Your competitive spirit may want you to compete and overtake the buses, but don’t even think of it. Buses already have stiff competitions from the auto-rickshaws and mopeds. Both these vehicles are nothing more than a small piece of tin fixed with wheels, but they have one thing in common. Both have big EGOS. So better don’t mess with them :-)

One-way Street: When you encounter this signboard, don’t worry. What this board means in Hyderabad is that you can’t move in both the directions at the same instant. You can move in any but only one direction :-)

Night Driving: Night Driving must be undertaken at your own risk. Avoid it as much as possible. While driving at night you have to have the utmost concentration. If a vehicle is coming in the opposite direction in the next lane, any assumptions that it would continue in the same lane could prove fatal :-))

Tight Situation : While you are driving in Hyderabad, you will encounter many situations when a BUS tries to overtake you from the left and a Auto Rickshaw tries to beat you from the right. When you are in this situation, it is in your best interest to continue in your own path without slowing down. The Bus and the rickshaw have the requisite experience and they will find their own way out :-))

Finally, Understand this: Hyderabad’s roads broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company (Provided you are insured--highly recomended if you have to drive in Hyderabad).

FootNote : I have been living in Hyderabad for over 8 years now and I am yet to see a car without a dent :-).

Miracle at Tiruchendur

2005-01-12T09:54:00.000+05:30

For those of you who do not know, Tiruchendur is a place of divine worship in TamilNadu. I happen to visit the temple once every two years and Iam really amazed at this miracle.

Temple of lord Murugan at Tiruchendur which is very close to the sea shore

Tiruchendur Lord Murugan Temple is on the sea shore - within 100 metres of the waves.

The Temple is a cave with the entrance at the sea level and the cave inside, slides down to the Sanctum Sanctorum of the Lord Subramaniam ( Murugan ) .

When we stand in front of the deity, the sea water level outside is higher than our heads. So, there is every likely hood that tidal waves and tsunamis can rush in and fill the cave Temple with sea water. According to the history of the Temple, it is mentioned that the Water God ( Lord Varuna ) has promised Lord Murugan that he will not cross the boundary of the Temple.

On TSUNAMI day

It seems the Water God has kept his promise. While the tsunami on 26/12/04 lashed the eastern coast of India and inundated all places near the coast deeply, the sea water did not enter the Temple. At 10.00 Hrs on the ill-fated day ( 26/12/04), the sea near the temple receded by a Kilometre - people could see a big crater there with many rocks visible - gradually the sea came back to its original level. But sea water entered Jeeva Nager located opposite Tiruchendur Bus stand at 12.30 Hrs.

All other coastal areas near Tiruchendur were affected by the lashing of tsunami. But, the Temple area is unaffected as the sea receded there as though to keep the promise given.

JAI MURUGA !!

Boils and pains

2005-01-10T10:42:00.000+05:30

Yes that's right. My body is paining like hell,my feet are full of boils and i can hardly walk. No, I was not involved in any brawl or things like that, but all this is self-inflicted.

Yes, that's right.All this is because of my new year resolution.

Finally i have decided to do it. I have decided to reduce some weight :-) Yes that's my new year resolution. I think iam overweight by 12 kgs . So i have decided to shed the xtra flab. Hopefully i can follow up on my promise. I have already made plans for it and started working on it from today.

I got up at 4.30 AM, got on those reeboks and started from home. Jogged for 1 hour and 15 minutes. When i returned home, all hell broke loose (in my body,that is). I was barely able to walk and thoughts of bunking office today crossed my mind. Better sense prevailed and now iam in office writing this stuff with my body aching like hell. Ok , now my fingers are also aching. Cant type more. Thats all for todays blogging i guess :-(

Go Sultans Go !!

2005-01-10T09:33:00.000+05:30

Come Jan 13th and the first Indian Premier Hockey league gets underway here in Hyderabad. Its on the lines of Club football in Europe and the NBA in the US with teams representing clubs and not their regions or states. Also most of these teams will also feature international players.One more unique thing about this is the fancy names these clubs have.

Sample this :

Bangalore Hi-Fliers, Maratha Warriors, Chennai Veerans, Sher-e-Jallandhar, Hyderabad Sultans, Bengal Tigers, Lucknow Nawabs, Delhi Dazzlers, Chandigarh Dynamos, Imphal Rangers.

I think all this is welcome development and will provide much needed relief from tho heavy dosage of cricket. Iam planning to go to some of these matches and cheer for my team (unless of course ESPN STAR change their mind and start beaming their channel in Hyderabad :-) ).
This league will also allow Indian people to associate with their favourite teams and cheer for them which they have never done so far.

Me being a Tam in Gonguraland, Iam in a strange fix. Dunno whom to support, the Chennai Veerans or the Hyderabad Sultans.

In this situation, i would go with the team which is more likely to win ;-). In this case, Hyderabad Sultans have the Indian hockey captain Diliip Tirkey, and can you believe it the Pakistan Hockey wizard , Sohail Abbas. Sultans also have the best defence in the league and are naturally one of the favourites.

Go Sultans Go !!

My typical day in office

2005-01-07T13:49:00.000+05:30

I think this picture sums up all i have 2 say.

Do you know why Tsunami hit India ??

2005-01-04T13:59:00.000+05:30

The Indian commies (ya those bunch of bufoons!!) are at it again.

This time, The Communist Party of India, CPM, in the latest editorial of its magazine has found out the reason for Tsunami striking India.

I dont want reproduce that ridiculous article here, but those folks who are "interested" in knowing the "reasons", click here

No wonder the communists are increasingly becoming an endangered species in world 2day :))

Thankoo DJay

2005-01-01T16:15:00.000+05:30

After the Tsunami tragedy, my new year started in a sombre mood today. Add to that IIFT exam tommorow. I was really psyched out 2day when I got this SMS from Jayavardhan. This made my day... :-))

Apun wishes u a wonderful, superduper,zabardast, xtra badiya, ekdam mast n dhinchak, boletho ek dum jhakas HAPPY NEW YEAR

Apun also wishes all of you the same :-))

My year 2004: In Review

2004-12-31T14:18:00.000+05:30

Well, another year has drawn to a close.
2004 has been an important milestone in my life.
Where do I start ??

Hmm, Ok, Lemme start with what i had been working towards for the past 6 years (4 years engg and 2 years preparing for it).

Iam now a Osmania University certified Electronics engineer

This was also the year I got my first job. Memorable in anyone’s career isn’t it.

2004 has also been a year I understood myself fully. I have realized my strengths and weaknesses and now I know what I really want to achieve in my life.

This has also been a year where I had blundered the CAT exam not once but twice. But after my experiences during the job hunt, I now know, something really good is waiting for me just round the corner.

This has also been a year when I started blogging. What started as a initiative to overcome boredom at office, has now become a part of my daily life. Blogging has helped me understand myself better. Thanks to blogging, I have made countless friends, spread all over India. And yes, I am proud to be a blogger.

Other mundane things I did last year

1. Started using a mobile phone.

2. Voted for the first time in the Indian General Elections. Felt really proud to take part in such a grand exercise. The fact that both parties (National/State) for which I voted lost handsomely is a different matter altogether .

3. Spurned offers of MBA course from IIT Delhi and Madras. Never thought I would live to see the day when I will decline offers of study at IIT Delhi and IIT Madras.

4. Gave “counselling” to 5 people when they were really down in life and Eureka !! Within 2 weeks they land up offers of job from top MNCs .

5. Shed tears involuntarily on two occasions.

Once, when I read about the misdeeds of the once revered Shankaracharya Jayendra Saraswati

Other time was when i watched the destruction caused by Tsunami.... So far, i have seen so many calamities like earthquakes, cyclones happening all over the country,but I have always been quite indifferent to them. But dont know why this time it really struck me hard and I broke down

Coming up Next : My Resolutions for 2005

Benaami Tsunami

2004-12-28T15:20:00.000+05:30

Would u want to be in that boat. Not me !!

Tamil nadu was thirsty and wanted water. But for heaven's sake NOT THIS .

Ya god, now we know, u r the boss. But dont be so cruel !!

Click here to view a video clip showing Tsunami smashing a sea shore

'MS' Blues !!

2004-12-22T21:18:00.000+05:30

The new wicketkeeper of the Indian cricket team is already making headlines. MS Dhoni, the wicketkeeper from Jharkand is said to be a duplicate Sehwag and it will be interesting to see how he performs against the Bangladeshis.

Anywayz, I happened to hear this conversation in the office canteen today.

Indian Guy1: Hey, it seems MS Dhoni plays like sehwag, he could be the Gilchrist of India.
Indian Guy2: Let us first hope MS Dhoni is better than that moron, Parthiv patel.
American Guy(clearly not understanding anything in the above conversation) : Hey, What is MS Dhoni. A new Microsoft Product??

LOL .

Yahoo Messenger snapped !!

2004-12-22T13:55:00.000+05:30

Grrrrr! Iam very angry.
These @#$@$ have stopped access to yahoo and messenger services in office.
I dunno how iam going to pass time in office from now on :-(

Edited to add : I think some one at office has read my post :-)) Yahoo messenger is up and running.

Reshoot Swades!!

2004-12-21T23:26:00.000+05:30

I hope Ashutosh Gowarikar follows my advice. His latest film according to most ppl is CRAP.

He must realize that the indian public wants something extra, something special, something more.....something, something like this

CATastrophe confirmed

2004-12-21T22:01:00.000+05:30

As expected, i wud not be going to IIMs this year. Well, I now have XAT,FMS,IIFT to fall back upon though.

Looking at the positive side of things, last year i got 91.5% and this year 95.1. Hope this trend continues and next year ......

I Came, I waited, and I finally Conquered !!

2004-12-19T21:06:00.000+05:30

I was thinking of writing about my 3 months of work here, but before that I thought it would be better to write about the Loooonnnngggg journey i had to undertake to reach here. It's quite long, so have patience and read on !!

My hunt for a job started about a year back. Around this time last year, companies started to trickle into my college to kickstart the campus interview process. The thrill that I felt when I heard that TCS was the first company coming to our college, may sound quite foolish now, but at that time, was a great source of happiness to me.

The D-Day arrived. TCS guys came, conducted a test and I qualified that. Next was a psychometric test and I still remember reaching home at 12 midnight after giving the test. Next morning,Pratap broke the news though, that I was not selected for the interview process. You don’t need to be an Einstein to guess that I was heartbroken. But now I can say that I was very badly prepared for the whole process (I had not even prepared my resume till then).

Next came the CTS guys and in the interview when they asked me to write a program for a binary tree, I knew I had no chance. Sayo Naara !! CTS!

The next company proved to me that God really existed!!

Satyam came to the campus and as usual I cleared the aptitude test. I still remember the “Round table conference” that I had with my other classmates in the college canteen before the Group Discussion session. I was regarded as some top shot in GDs (I don’t know why). Everyone in that group was about to attend the first GD in their life. Since I had attended some GD classes in TIME before, I gave all of them some gyaan I had acquired.

And then there was the GD. I had done extremely well and felt that barring some godly intervention I was through to the interview stage. Then the results of the GD were about to be announced. My friends were very tense; I was very cool and had already started my prep for the interview. Then Disaster struck. 55 names were announced. My name was not!! I was shocked and almost in the state of breaking down. To add salts to my wounds, all my friends got through!! I remember wishing all of them good luck for the interview and boarding the college bus. What did I do god, that u have punished me like this….It took me a couple of weeks to come back to terms with the reality.

By now most of my classmates were already placed. I was disillusioned with the whole life as such. Then, one fine day I received a mail from a company called KANBAY saying my resume had been short listed for their test. My first thought was what sort of a company is that, never heard of it. But, what the heck, who cares.

Getting through the aptitude tests had become a habit for me and this was no different. I was asked to attend the interview the next day in their office. So the next day I went there. Phew! What an interview!! 1 hour. I was asked to do everything. From giving a 10 minute speech to giving a 15 minute presentation of my engineering project to explaining the importance of Admiral Gorshkov to the Indian Navy. All this were my strengths so i had no problems. But as expected, I was F%$@ed up in objects, classes and pointers.

But I knew that my performance in the non tech portion of the interview was sufficient to get me through. And right I was. I still remember the date. 8th February, 2004. I received a mail confirming my selection in KANBAY. I was overjoyed and felt like all my previous sins have been washed away. Happiest moment of my life.

But I had a problem. No one knew the company or had ever heard about the company. When I broke the news of my selection to my relatives and friends, their lips said “Hey congratulations!!”, but I cud read their minds thinking “What sort of a crap company is that ??”. But who cares, KANBAY is a big MNC and can u believe it, I was about get the highest pay packet in my whole batch. God is great!!

I was told that I would have to join sometime in May. So till then, I was in my own world, trying to “enjoy” life before I face the “rigor” of the corporate world. Before I realized, I got a call from KANBAY asking me to join at the Pune office in June. At this stage , I had a personal problem and asked the HR lady whether she can defer the date of my joining by a week. She replied very calmly saying that, that was not a problem and there was a new batch of employees joining in the first week of July and I could join then. I never knew that this telephonic call would change my future.

Soon it was July and I got no call from them. I called them and they said that they are sorry and that they would accommodate me in the next batch starting in 15 days. July became August. Again same response from them.

I understood that I was in trouble. Cursing myself, it was then that I started my job hunt. In the mean time I attended a French training class and was able to speak a few sentences in Francaise.

Also around that time I got a call from KANBAY, saying that they do not have any more new projects. But since they have already selected me, they are willing to give me a job in their Call-Center office. I told them F%$! off, and hung the phone.

Then one fine July day, I attended a TCS walk-in test. About 20,000 ppl were estimated to attend that test. As usual I got through the test. In the tech interview, I said that I cud speak French. The lady there then asked “Comment s’appelle vous” and to this I replied “J’mappelle kannan”. That’s it. Rest was formality. I was selected in TCS.

Again I was happy. But more was yet to come.

A few days later, when I was speaking to my classmate, Vikas, he told me that a company has come to the college for recruitment and we cud write the test. I asked him to fill up the form for me. The good guy that he is, he obliged.

I had never heard the name of the company. But what the heck, I did not have anything to do at home. So, I wrote the test. I got selected. That night when I browsed through the internet to get some company info, I was stunned. It was then that I realized the magnitude of the next day. I had the opportunity to get selected into Deloitte Consulting

Attended the interview. Phew!! That was one hell of a stress interview. My technical skills were compared to those of the Deloitte Sweeper. Then more bouncers….. Why should we give a job to a 70% guy when, when we have 90%ers standing outside the room. It didn’t stop there. As a young engineer, shouldn’t u have the enterprise to learn latest technologies, other than learning only C and C++?

People who know me, can certify that Iam a calm guy. Boy!! Did my calmness help me there? You bet. I knew that they were only testing my patience and so i was a little confident of getting selected. Results were supposed to be announced the very next day. Selected candidates would be informed by 8 PM, they said. So the next day, I checked my mail at 8.05 PM. No mail….. Checked my mailbox at 9 PM again. No luck again…… I was disappointed. I thought that my fate was sealed with TCS and I would have no escape from it.
At Night 11.30 PM I decided to check my mailbox again. No mail again. I was very sleepy and was just clicking around, when by chance I clicked on the BULK FOLDER of my mail box. EUREKA!! The subject line read,

“Welcome to Deloitte- The Place where the best choose to be”

I knew this was big. VERY BIG. I woke up my parents and informed them.
HAHAHAHA I went to the terrace of my apartment and screamed as loud as possible ..

Life has changed for me since then…….

Now I realize why I did not get through the Satyam GD and why the KANBAY guys behaved the way, they did.

Thank you GOD!!

College Update

2004-12-14T09:55:00.000+05:30

Here's the latest update of my college mates for the last week.

1>Krishna selected in Satyam Computers
2>Praveen or "525" for the uninitiated , has got his visa and is leaving for South Illinois University this Jan.
3>Sunil ,it seems has got a super score in GRE and TOEFL and will be heading to US in fall.
4>Dhron is now a lecturer in MeRRITS, Nellore,Andhra Pradesh.
5> Nagendra has left for Trivandrum to begin his tryst with TCS.

P.S.: If i have missed anyone plz mail me or post a comment here.

Ab mera kya hoga , Ellison?

2004-12-14T09:38:00.000+05:30

Oracle has taken over PeopleSoft, the package i had been working with for the past 3 months. So now iam an official consultant of Oracle ERP. WTF?

With this mega merger, the obvious question arises . What happens to the thousands of PeopleSoft consultants all over the world. What i gather from my various sources is that, there would be no major changes for people at this level of the industry.

What the "experts" are also saying is that Oracle-Peoplesoft merger is the best thing to have happened. Dont be surprised if u hear a new product called "OraSoft" in a few years time giving the german company, SAP a run for its money.

Well, for my sake , the "experts" better be right ;)

Footnote: American capitalism Sucks !!

When the President weeps ........

2004-12-13T09:26:00.000+05:30

My mom's filter coffee, "THE HINDU" newspaper and M.S.Subbulakkshmi's Vishnu Sahasranamam playing in the background. This sums up my typical morning.

M.S. passed away last week. May god bless her soul.

Pakistan in OZland

2004-12-10T10:29:00.000+05:30

Pakistan is in Australia hoping to spring a surprise in the Test Series. Signs are not good though. This photo is from a tour game vs Western Australia.

Iam betting for 3-0 whitewash. Any takers?? :-)

'Swades' Story Leaked !!

2004-12-08T10:22:00.000+05:30

Yesterday as usual i received dozens of irritating forwards. But this one was really fascinating. This is the story of the most anticipated movie in Indian History, 'SWADES'. Read it and enjoi.

Shahrukh Khan is a scientist in NASA

When our hero was busy launching a satellite to Pluto, his wife is about to deliver a baby and she wanted to meet him. But the launch process badly needs a person like our hero, and there is no other option. A senior scientist asks him to stay back till it gets launched. But our well committed hero says my wife is more important and comes back home but his wife is already dead. Mean time, the satellite is launched but other scientists in NASA claim that they were responsible for the launch and they don’t recognize Shahrukh.

He resigns from there and comes back to India with his family leading a peaceful life.... days go by till...... One day, the scientists, to their surprise found that SUN is reaching EARTH slowly and after sometime it may BURN the earth to ashes. All the scientists are worried how to save the EARTH. Then they realize that only one person can save the earth. That is Shahrukh Khan.

They visit India, telling him the facts, and Shahrukh joins back there to complete the mission of saving the EARTH...After extensive research, Shahrukh invents an instrument. This instrument had to be taken to the uppermost point of Earth’s atmosphere and pointed towards the SUN. The solar radiations would reflect back in its direction and the resultant opposite force would move earth away from the orbit... All the scientist were very happy and appreciated Shahrukh's invention.

So finally Shahrukh is all set to go into the SPACE and save the earth. But he says he needs an Indian companion in the spacecraft. He calls the bearded guy ( u wud have seen him in the song “Yu Hi chala, chal rahi…….”)Nasa guys scratch their head, but finally allow him to accompany Shahrukh.

The space shuttle is launched and both of them travel in the spacecraft towards the SUN. As they reach outer space, Shahrukh comes out of the spacecraft and stands on the wings of the spacecraft. He takes out the instrument and shows it to the SUN.....

Then disaster strikes. When Shahrukh presses the ON button of the instrument, the instrument does not work... All the scientists are worried at the earth station..... Tension mounts up.......... SUN is reaching the EARTH slowly.............

Climax --- With the SUN floats towards the EARTH, Shahrukh puts one leg on earth, turns back, kicks off the SUN with ultimate force.. and jumps back to the spacecraft.... now the SUN is deflecting away from its path to EARTH!!!!!!!!!!! EARTH SAVED...

He shows Indian flag in his hand and the spacecraft moves back to earth!

THE END

P.S. : Iam yet to recover from my stomach pains caused by laughing , after reading this story

Iam one month old :-)

2004-12-05T14:25:00.000+05:30

Kansultant is one month old and has registered more than 400 hits so far. I enjoyed blogging all this while and hope to continue with the same spirit in the future also.

Yesterday, while i was tweaking the template of my blog,i lost all the comments posted on my various posts . Feel dissapointed. Furthur, I have removed the tagboard for the moment and will keep a new and better shout box soon.

If anyone of u have any suggestions/tips/ideas to improve my site , plz post them to me. I will be very happy

Iam better than this !

2004-11-29T10:32:00.001+05:30

Yesterday I gave a party to my brother. His exams were over and both of us had gone to Tipsy-Topsy, the nearest food outlet to our home. I have never been a big junk food fan and so never tasted even a pizza. So wanted to try that out. Me and my bro, ordered a pizza, a burger and coke. It cost about 250 rupees. Even though I have never spent so much amount for food ever in my life, I did not feel any discomfort when I handed them the sodex ho coupons. After all, I have worked hard (?) for that money, and that money is supposed to be spent in any way I wish. I felt proud to pay 250 bucks from my own pocket.

After spending an hour at Tipsy-Topsy, we came out. What I saw then, hit me hard!Very hard!!...... Two children, each aged about 8 years, with torn clothes, running nose and carrying an empty plate ran towards me and begged for food and money. My impulsive reaction was to shoo them away and get out from that place. I have always thought of such people as irritants and whenever I see them I treat them with contempt.

But yesterday, I don’t know what changed within me. Here I stood, after burning 250 bucks for some junk food and there stood b4 me, 2 children hungry and begging. What a shame!! Just recalling the plight of those kids, did not allow me to sleep yesterday. How can I be so mean? After all, the difference between those kids and me is only that I have been lucky to have been born to a financially well-off family .Then why this mirage of lavishness.

I have been thinking a lot about this. And I have taken some decisions. I will never again see those poor people with contempt. Cut out on my parties and junk food and use the money I save, to feed as many kids possible. I want to bring the smiles back on the faces of at least some unfortunate children and I promise today that I will do that, no matter what.

What NEXT ......

2004-11-24T15:16:00.001+05:30

Now that I have overcome the initial disappointment of the CATastrophe , I can do some honest soul searching. CAT paper was easy. I messed it up, big time at that. I realize that I cud have worked harder, but hey, I cud have had some more luck as well. But there is a bigger question lingering over my mind . Am I the right person for IIMs. Or shud the question be posed the other way. Are the IIMs the right institutes for me. I think I will get the answer in 3 months time.

'CAT'astrophe

2004-11-22T17:13:00.001+05:30

DO i need to say more :-(

President Schwarzenegger :-)

2004-11-17T10:34:00.001+05:30

Arnie for president in 2008 ??? GOD SAVE AMERICA. Read this..

Mess(ed) Food

2004-11-16T15:15:00.001+05:30

Those of you who have read my earlier post describing the taste(?) of DC canteen's food will have an idea as to what i feel about it.This is a snapshot of the visitor's diary at Canteen. Seems there is more than one person here who is ANGRY.

Travails of a Satyam Driver.

2004-11-16T15:02:00.001+05:30

Yesterday I was speaking to my new CAB driver. He was new to DC and was earlier a driver in Satyam Computers. When I asked him ki why he changed the company , he said in typical Hyderabadi style , “Saab…… Satyam me paisa bahut kam dete saab, Poora din kaam karna padta aur salary peon maafik hi dete. Yahan DC me achha salary mil ra Saab…..”.
I was not at all surprised when i heard it because the driver’s salary is in fact, earmarked and paid to the Satyam Engineers

Cliched dialogues of Hindi Movies

2004-11-16T14:27:00.001+05:30

The following is my top 10 list of cliched/classic(?) dialogues in Hindi movies. We are tired of hearing them again and again, but Hindi movies wont be Hindi movies without them :-)

10>Kanoon ke haath bahut lambe hote hain.
9>A hero when in trouble- "Bhagwan, mainey aaj tak tumse kuch nahin maanga....."
8>Mai kahti hoon, Door ho jaa meri nazron sey.
7>Ab tumari maa hamare kabze main hai.
6>Tehro,yeh shaadi nahin ho sakti.
5>Aey jee! Aap bade woh hain.
4>Bataoo, heeray kahan hai.
3>Doctor-"Ab Sab oopar waale key haath mein hai".
2>Tazerat-e-Hind , Dafa 302 ke tahat, Mulzim ko Phaansi ki sazaa di jati hai.
And the winner is
1> Mai tumharay bachhe ki maa banney waali hoon

Iam the Gladiator

2004-11-15T15:23:00.002+05:30

On Diwali day, I saw Gladiator for the **th time. Boy, that's one hell of a movie. This dialogue gives me goosebumps everytime I see it.
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
Talking of favourite dialouges, this is the all time hit from 'Namak halal'

Ranjeet : Do you know English ?

Amitabh : Lo kallo baat. Are aisi Angrezi ave hain ke I can leave Angrez behind. I can talk english, I can walk English, I can laugh english, because english is a funny language. Bhairo becomes barren and barren becomes Bhairo because their minds are very narrow.

In the year 1929 when India was playing Australia at the Melbourne stadium Vijay Hazare and Vijay Merchant were at the crease. Vijay Merchant told Vijay Hazare. Look Vijay Hazare Sir , this is a very prestigious match and we must consider it very prestigiously. We must take this into consideration, the consideration that this is an important match and ultimately this consideration must end in a run.

In the year 1979 when Pakistan was playing against India at the Wankhede stadium Wasim Raja and Wasim Bari were at the crease and they took the same consideration. Wasim Raja told Wasim Bari, look Wasim Bari, we must consider this consideration and considering that this is an important match we must put this consideration into action and ultimately score a run. And both of them considered the consideration and ran and both of them got out !!

It's okay ! We Understand !!

2004-11-15T14:45:00.000+05:30

You tried your best but Bush had to win.

Shock and Awe !!

2004-11-15T10:19:00.001+05:30

Can the POPE be ever arrested? No way isn’t it . So what does one feel if his Hindu equivalent is arrested by TN police and put behind bars .Two words- SHOCK & AWE. When I first saw the news on NDTV 24x7, I was shellshocked to say the least. So many people in India,including me, regarded H.H. Jayendra Saraswati of Kanchi as an incarnation of God walking on earth.This is a man who makes his own food, wears only a cloth rag and is proficient in Vedic Mantras and now he was dragged to the court at 6AM (Bilkul TamilNadu Police Style ;) ) to face MURDER charges !!!.
I agree that Law must take it’s own course, but what irks me the most is when this line is quoted by Laloo Yadav of all people. LALOO YADAV is the biggest S.O.B. still alive on this planet and he has the gall to say that Hindus should not care about such things. VODDAFOK.

“Osama Bin Laden is the leader of all muslims including Indian Muslims and it is the duty of all Indian Muslims to do as he wishes”.This famous quote was from Shahi Imam of Jama Masjid,Delhi. We all know that Osama has declared India as his biggest enemy along with US, Israel and Russia. Now will the Indian Police have the guts to arrest him. We know, it wont happen EVER.

IAM ANGRY, VERY VERY ANGRY

100 hits in 6 days.......

2004-11-11T17:02:00.001+05:30

Yipee!! 100 hits and still counting. And it has been just 6 days. Never believed i wud see this stat. Nanak can already hear some doubting thomasas say that he would have clicked all the 100 hits on the site. Just for info , nanak wants to clarify that any click from his PC does not count in the final figure.

What's in a name ??

2004-11-10T11:06:00.001+05:30

Nanak has always wondered as to why people trivialize simple words. House wife is now called Home Maker, sales executive has become Strategy Implementation executive, a simple call center employee is called Voice Support executive.

But this one has got to take the cake.

What do u think it is ??

Nanak thought it could be some server room or something. Little did he know that he was going to get the shock of his life. It was then, that he found out that the command center was in fact the name given to DC canteen’s Kitchen. LOL. Nanak had to drink 3 glasses of cold water to come back to senses :-(

Nag gets through :-)

2004-11-09T17:41:00.002+05:30

Today afternoon Nanak got an SMS saying "Selected in TCS" . Nanak was confused as to who it was. So he decided to call back. Surprise Surprise!! It was Nagendra, his mate from the engg. days. Nagi made it to TCS. Nanak was very happy hearing this and asked him for a party. Nagi knows he cannot say No or else he wud have to face the wrath of all his classmates.He readily agreed.

Waiting for the party to give him some JOB BUMPS. He deserves one :-) !!

Narrow miss !!

2004-11-09T16:22:00.002+05:30

The DC Quiz contest results were announced yesterday.Top 3 ppl in the quiz would represent DC in different quiz competitions like Brand Equity Quiz etc. Nanak was very hopeful at the start of the day. But when results were mailed on the local network his wait turned to despair :-( . Nanak finished fourth. The guy at the third position outscored him by 0.5 marks. Nanak was heartbroken.

When this writer asked Nanak as to how he felt he said

I feel dissapointed of not making it this time, but i will make sure that i wont miss the bus the next time.

Just when he made this remark, he got the news that he was on standby and his "services" would be made required if any of the top 3 guys r not able to make it due to one reason or another. Hearing to this breaking news, Nanak remarked

If that's the case, iam overjoyed because there are rumours floating around that one of the top 3 guys was about to leave for US soon.

It seems, all's well that end's well.

Ah! Now I know !!

2004-11-09T16:22:00.001+05:30

Now nanak understands why the coffee at DC tastes like SHIT. Read this ....

Coffee made from cat droppings---Times of India(9th Nov 2004)

A British online shop is selling coffee made from cat droppings - for £14 an ounce.
Kopi Luwak, or civet cat coffee, is produced by the civet cat in Sumatra, reports Dagblad van het Noorden.
It eats ripe coffee beans which are then hand-picked from its droppings by local people.
The beans are of the highest quality but the work is so intensive that only 500kg is made each year.
Dutch connoisseur Bob Dam, from Groningen, said the coffee has a fine chocolate aroma which tastes delicious at the back of the throat.
"The taste is exquisite but it is too expensive to really enjoy the coffee," he added.

Gimme a break!!

Cat prep :-(

2004-11-08T16:41:00.001+05:30

Nanak is in BIG trouble. he has just 2 weeks to go for CAT and he is busy writing this blog. Prep are at an all time low. Only his old friend can save him. And nanak is daily praying in front of him hoping that at least for once he will open his eyes.

New Building ;-)

2004-11-08T15:57:00.001+05:30

Today Nanak moved to a new building called RMZ Futura.

His first impression --- it is good.

Vanenburg was not bad.

This was nanak's office till last week

Nanak says that one thing better in the new building is that there is more privacy here. But he has a problem... he sits in a cubicle where he cant see who's gonna pop up from behind.. 2day there was a close encounter... nanak was busy chatting on Y! as usual ,when Kiran -The VicePres. of DC popped from behind and asked him how r u and how's the new building etc . Nanak got the SHOCK of his life. He fumbled and mumbled.Somehow managed to escape ;)

Other impressions

Nanak is very happy 2day.He got a PC with built in DVD player and CD writer.he says though this is good , dc cud have also provided a scanner and a printer on his table ;). Hey RAM... 1GB RAM + 3Ghz Intel original Motherboard+ optical mouse.....Zindabad Zindabad.....DC Zindabad...........:-)

Canteen SUX. A plate of that shit costs 30 bucks. nanak has decide to get food from home from 2morrow:-(

Kiran has said that from now on he expects everyone to stay till late hours and learn stuff.He is right. High time ppl like Nanak do some work for the vulgar salary he gets :-)

First Post !

2004-11-05T17:06:00.001+05:30

Hi, This is the blog of a guy called nanak.He works in DC.He is free now a days and does not have anywork at office . So started this blog. . He hopes to keep updating this place often.